i was being super paranoid today for some reason which i have yet to figure out. it must be due to the nightmare i had yesterday. when i woke up this morning, i felt weird. i remembered dreaming about something scary yesterday, but no matter how hard i tried to recall, all i could rmb was seeing myself running and running on a long road. it seemed endless and i was all alone. ALONE. the sense of loneliness was terrible. yes, i know. it must be due to that dream which made me so paranoid today. does it signify something?? i wonder.
yesterday was our school's ndp. it was actually quite a significant day for me. the last year i will be in the contingent. the last day i will be wearing that sj uniform. i thought that i would be over the moon when everything ended. it did not turn out that way. i was just feeling happy yet weird at the same time. perhaps an element of sadness. afterall, i had been in stjohn for four years. it may not be long, but it is not short either. four years of joy, sorrow and tears. i will always remember the kind of accomplished and happy feeling when we got promoted. the tears i have once shed over something. how much i actually dislike and dread sj trainings back in the past. i was sorry for even wanting to quit when i was in sec 2. thinking about that now, i really have to thank my father for encouraging me to carry on. he said that since i have already taken that step, i should not give up so easily. =) sj gave me memories. it was through sj that i get to know people better. i regret deeply that it was only during this year at the g5 camp when i realised that i actually like stjohn. i will not say that it is too late, at least i get the chance to write all my feelings down here. i thank everyone in sj who has given me memories. they made me grow stronger and realise more things in life.
i never imagined that there will be a day when i actually blog an entry about sj. never. time really changes everything. 4 years of so many things. so many memorable and unforgettable stuffs.